Ask For It: How Women Can Use the Power of Negotiation to Get What They Really Want By Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever
Ask For It by Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever, is one of my most favorite books. It has influenced me more than any other book has. Having read this book multiple times, it has given me the impetus to change my life, each time.
Premise of Book
The premise of the book is that women will ask for things on behalf of others, but not for themselves. If a mother thinks that her child is ill for example, she will not stop until she has a doctor appointment. She is often not so diligent about making an appointment for herself.
Similarly graduates of a masters degree program were asked if they negotiated their first job offers. The authors found that only 12.5% of female graduates negotiated their first salary, compared to 51.5% of males. The women started off with lower salaries than the men. Over time however, with raises and bonuses awarded as a percentage of their base salary, the women were falling further and further behind their male counterparts in terms of earnings.
When I Asked, I Got
After reading this book, I thought back to times when I had asked for something, and then I did in fact get. For example, in one of my first jobs I was incredibly bored. After talking to my boss, he said he’d pay for me to do a master’s degree. A 10 minute conversation resulted in a masters degree!!!! I had asked!
Similarly in another work place, a colleague of mine had multiple monitors, I didn’t. Why? He simply asked. I did not.
Managerial Applications of This Theme
One particularly excellent manager of mine, seems to have instinctively understood the concept that some people just won’t ask for what they want. He gave everyone two monitors, after a single colleague requested an additional monitor for himself. That same manager put whiteboards up in every room, after I asked for one in mine. He understood that if it will help one person, chances are, it will also help those who haven’t asked for it. This innate understanding of peoples characters, evened the playing field and helped grow us from disparate workers, to a strong team.
I heartily recommend this book to everyone, both individual contributors and people leaders alike. As individual contributors, we need to recognize when it is time to step up and ask for what we want. As a leader, we need to understand the differences in people so we can foster a healthy work environment where everyone feels valued and can grow their career.